Saturday Night 'Excitment'

Status: Bored out of my mind's mind!!!!
Entertainment: TV..but considering I'm bored it must not be entertaining.

Why I'm Updating....

A. I'm bored out of my mind and thinking about playing in the rain just to do something and get off my ass...but that'll last like 5 min and then I'll think "whose shitty ass idea was this?..oh..mine." I mean do you ever have that feeling that you just need to go out with a friend and get coffee, go see a movie, get dressed put makeup on and see something other than the four walls of you bedroom? Honestly I want to get out and get going (but more on that later...)

B. I had GREAT plans but they have been canceled due to performance tomorrow..which I actually understand 100% and respect. I hate dancers who take no pride in their work and don't take care of their body...I hate dancers who go out and party until early hours of the morning knowing they have work the next day. They figure they can just sleep it off in the morning but it's pretty bad to wake up late when you have a performance..anyways. I was sad for like 2 minutes and then I thought "Hey, I'd do the same thing..get over it."

C. "More on that later." My mind is filled with ideas...bouncing bouncing bouncing. Since I've been back from Italy all I want to do is leave. I really have no idea why I'm here, honestly. I'm here because my clothes are here haha, it seems like it. I know my friends will be sad and frustrated but happy that I will be dancing again and not sitting on my ass getting yelled at for stupid things. I'm waiting to hear back from some people in regards to if/how much I will be paid and in what conditions I'll be living and an interesting opportunity has come up in Helsinki. I researched it last night and wonder why I overlooked it before, I like the opera a lot actually..but that was just throw around and not at all definite or planned...long story short GET ME OUTTA HERE!..

D. Rachel* got to me again today. The past few weeks we've been much more civil with each other, friendly even but she started her rants again today. Part of me really wants to stick up for myself and be like "this is my life, my opinion..deal with it." but at the same time I think why waste my energy? and why does she even care?...seriously some people are SO insecure it scares me. The thing is I don't feel bad because shes counting all of my mistakes but doesn't see the huge blemish of one shes making, I'm not her mother, I take care of my life and I have a mother in the event that I should need one. Just venting my aggravation.

E. Hockey World Champs are on...but Austrian TV plays like one game a week. I seriously want to strangle this country sometimes! gaaaaah!

F. I'm really fucking tired, excuse my french (see G.), of opera populare, and not even the opera but the one women who hates me and I hate her. So I'm giving her what she wants but there are some really smart dancers and some blatantly stupid ones. I've seen these same situations since I was like 5. Oh, I'll give her what she wants..but seeing at I'm not sticking around my longer and I'm definitely not here next year..well, lets just say I really hope my leg doesn't suddenly start hurting hm? I refuse to further hurt my body because its "the rules"...who the fuck are you anyways? She bothers me. can you tell? haha.

G. I'm studying french...er? re-studying french haha. I'm actually surprised how much I really do remember. I'm trying to find a penpal online to help me but its not as easy as it sounds hahaha...I want someone I don't know so I can do all that "J'adore danse" stuff haha. I have two friends that are fluent but the things I want to say are too advanced hahah. Any ideas?

So...after writing this I'm still bored. I'm sending Flavia a text message and that's my last try. I shall sit and stare at these white walls and continue wishing I had played in the rain haha.
Hope y'all are well. Write me some e-mails if u get a chance to let me know whats new :]

Moment of the Day: I talked to the person I was mad at, and we cleared things up and now were a lot closer than we've been for months. ha. I love him!

Me